Author: Matthew Lynch

Children are not born knowing their own gender. They learn to embrace gender stereotypes based on what they see and experience from other children, adults, and the media. Early childhood is such an important time for children to develop their own identities and creating safe spaces for children to express their identities is crucial to allowing them to flourish and grow. This post explores a few simple ways educators and parents can create welcoming spaces for gender fluid children, including building a diverse classroom, using supportive language, and providing a range of books and toys. 

The classroom or play space

One easy way to support children’s growing gender identity is to create a welcoming classroom or play space. This article explains the importance of not sorting children into categories by gender. Do not form teams of boys versus girls, separate the “girl’s toys” from the “boy’s toys,” or assign stereotypical gender colors to children (for example, having blue mats be for boys and pink mats are for girls). Encourage children to play with all genders, and mix all of the kinds of toys together. Make your play area or classroom a safe, comforting space where children can use their imagination and play freely without any gender bias. 

Language

Ask children what their preferred pronouns are, and use gender-neutral language whenever possible. Instead of saying “boys and girls,” simply say “everyone.” Use “they” as much as possible instead of “he” or “she.” If a child expresses a preference for a certain pronoun, even if it isn’t the one they were assigned at birth, honor their request. Pay attention to how children are playing and interacting with each other. For example, if you hear a little boy say something like, “Pink is for girls!” you can gently say, “Lots of boys like pink, too.” 

Toys and books 

Be conscientious about selecting a variety of toys that will help all children express their gender identities and are educational. Choose gender-neutral books and toys when possible, but also be sure to make plenty of “boy” and “girl” toys available. The key is to make the toys equally accessible to all children and to encourage them to play with every type of toy. You could even set up a rotation system so that each child gets a chance to play with all the toys, and each child has the opportunity to interact with toys and books they might not think to explore on their own.

This article explains how in the past, parents and educators pushed children towards toys that reflected suitable careers for their gender, such as playing house for girls and playing with fire trucks for boys. The modern workforce does not reflect these gender stereotypes, and it is important to raise children to know that they can be anything they want to be, regardless of gender. 

Educators have a responsibility to respect the gender identities of students, and the opportunity to facilitate the exploration of these identities. Creating an inclusive classroom or play space, using supportive language, and providing and encouraging the use of a variety of toys and books all help form a welcoming environment for gender fluid children.

How often have we, as teachers, felt that a significant portion of instructional time was wasted because of poor student behavior? Our instructional time is already so scarce, and this can be a frustrating feeling. But, the behavior of our students may not be to blame.

Often, the reason students do not do what you want them to do is because they don’t understand exactly what is expected of them. For instance, we may become frustrated when our students enter the classroom noisily and talk to their friends instead of sitting in their seats right away and getting started on the warm-up. But how many of us actually have a procedure in place for entering the room? And how many of us have actually rehearsed that procedure multiple times with our students?

Self-regulation strategies are those strategies that allow individuals to regulate their own behavior. And, when in the context of classroom routines and activities, these self-regulation strategies can help your students flow seamlessly from one activity to the next, knowing exactly what to do and where to go, without you having to constantly remind them.

What are some examples of self-regulating strategies in classroom routines and activities?

•       Entering the classroom

A self-regulating routine that will save a significant amount of instructional time is the way in which students enter the classroom. For instance, you can establish the expectation that when students enter your classroom they are to do so quietly, sit in their assigned seat, get out a pencil and a piece of paper, and get started on the warm-up that is posted on the board. You can use the assigned seating system for quick attendance. This way you won’t waste 10 minutes at the beginning of class trying to get everyone to focus.

•         Absent work

When students are absent, they will often take responsibility for themselves and ask what they missed while they were gone. While this sense of responsibility is appreciated, many teachers do not want to waste instructional time playing catch-up with the one student who missed the lesson while the 20 other students wait around for you to begin class. With a self-regulating routine such as an absent folder, students can quickly grab their missing work from a specific date by using a labeled absent folder.

•       Obtaining additional classroom materials

To avoid students needing to constantly ask you for a pencil, a piece of tape, or a stapler, keep all of these items in a student station at the back of the classroom. Students will then be able to take charge of their own learning by gathering the necessary supplies themselves.

•         Classroom jobs

Classroom jobs can be a lifesaver for teachers, and students love them, too. Helpful students enjoy assisting the teacher and having a designated task. You can assign classroom jobs such as a white-board cleaner, pencil sharpener, line leader, and so on. Once you train each student how to perform their job successfully, you won’t need to worry about cleaning your own board or sharpening your own pencils for the rest of the year.

How to integrate self-regulating strategies into your classroom

When implementing these procedures, it is incredibly important that you rehearse these routines with your students multiple times, not just on the first day of school. Even high school students require reminders about expectations. If you don’t practice each and every procedure with your students, you will not be able to successfully implement self-regulating strategies into your classroom.

The primary reason that self-regulating strategies are useful is that they save time and frustration for everyone involved, meaning that more of your attention is devoted to teaching the concepts rather than dealing with misbehaviors. When students are in a comfortable environment in which all gears are turning smoothly, they will be primed for learning.

It cannot be understated how vital for the first 3-8 years of a child’s life are for their success academically, socially, emotionally, and even physically. Our brains grow the develop the fastest during this time period and the experiences, good and bad, add up and create the trajectory we follow. The Center for Disease Control and Prevention compiled research on health disparities in early childhood and found that “disparities in overall health and well-being are rooted in early childhood when stressors in early childhood can disrupt neurologic, metabolic, and immunologic systems, leading to poorer developmental outcomes.”

The Importance of Bonding and a Positive Environment

Humans, at our core, are social beings. We have survived for millennia primarily due to sticking together and creating strong bonds. When there is a lack of bonding or negative bonding (such as abuse and neglect) that is created in early childhood, it severely damages a child as the emotional well-being of the child is comprised at a pivotal time in their life. This can lead to a stunting of cognitive abilities as a child is not able to develop well or healthily; an issue that is compounded as time goes on and the child falls further behind. 

The Abecedarian Project

Conversely, positive bonding in a safe and engaging environment accelerates the growth of children. The University of North Carolina’s “Abecedarian Project,” led by Craig Ramey focused on the difference of giving children a high-quality full-time childcare setting for five years to low-income families with a control group only receiving free formula and diapers. Their progress was then measured with follow-up studies conducted at ages 12, 15, 21, 30, and 35. The difference between the two was staggering:

•         I.Q. scores for the children who received the birth-to-age-5 Abecedarian intervention were higher than those of the randomly assigned control group.
•         The program children were less likely to repeat a grade in school and demonstrated better achievement in reading and mathematics throughout elementary and high school
•         At age 21, the treated group had maintained statistically significant advantages both in intellectual test performance and in scores on academic tests
•         At age 30, the treated group was more likely to hold a bachelor’s degree, hold a job, and delay parenthood

Taking to Heart the Results

The Abecedarian Project is regarded as one of the pinnacle studies on the importance of early childhood education programs and one of the few extensive longitudinal studies on the matter. The results of it reinforces the importance of creating such environments for young children and the utmost need for intervention programs of lower-income families who, in many circumstances at no fault of their own, are unable to provide that for their children.

If we don’t create sustainable intervention programs that support groups like this then it creates a systemic problem. Exposing young children to a stressful environment without a consistent and strong positive figure to bond with has incredible detrimental short- and long-term effects on the brain’s development and the way the brain and body handle stress.

There is no ironclad answer to how such a problem can be fixed but the first step is creating awareness of the problem at hand.

With so many distractions and new technology arising, kids are often less interested in playing and more likely to become glued to a television or phone. However, playing is an important part of childhood, so it is essential that parents and educators encourage young children to play whenever they get the chance. Even though playing may seem like a simple pastime, it can help kids to develop essential skills, such as engaging with others and learning about their surroundings. Here are some ways to keep play at the heart of early childhood.

Encourage Imagination

When kids play often, they develop a strong sense of imagination. To a kid, their surroundings can be anything they want. Even without toys or games, kids should be able to run around and enjoy the wonders of imagining interesting scenarios in their head. While parents should want their kids to eventually understand what’s real and what’s not, they should not get in the way of their child’s imagination because it will help them develop creative skills as they grow up. It can also help them to become more open-minded about the world. 

Limit Use of Electronics

Electronics are a major reason as to why children generally aren’t as creative or imaginative as they used to be. Once a kid gets a hold of a video game or an app, they don’t seem to be interested in doing anything else, let alone play. Therefore, it is important to enforce rules about how much screen time a child can have to allow them to learn to play and enjoy their childhood.

Play with Them and Encourage Them to Play with Others

Kids often don’t like to play alone all the time, so parents should make sure to find time to play with their kids. Show them ways that they can play and express their creativity. Also, if you’re not available to play with them at certain points, you should encourage them to invite friends over to help spread their creativity further. However, don’t just allow them and their friends to stare at a screen every time they hang out. Suggest fun activities to keep them entertained if needed.

Teach Them How to Play by Themselves

It is also important for kids to learn to play by themselves from time to time. Kids can learn a lot by playing independently, and it can give them the freedom to choose their own stories that they can control. If you show them ways that they can play by themselves, then they will be able to find plenty of things to keep them entertained without having to rely on electronics or other people. 

Conclusion

Technology is becoming more and more common in today’s society and parents don’t always have time to play with their kids, but it is important that kids are still taught to play in their early childhood. Playing can help kids develop imagination and creativity better and it can teach them to both work with others and be independent. Playing is more than just a hobby to pass the time because it is an essential part of every kid’s childhood.

Conflict resolution is a subject that should be taught to kids at an early age to help them better resolve problems in the future. However, for young kids, such as toddlers, it can be a tricky thing to teach. Scholastic provides more specific tips for each age group, but the following five items are ways to reach out to toddlers about problem-solving.

Remain Calm at All Times

If you get frustrated with toddlers, they will be able to pick up on it. Therefore, when you handle a conflict situation with them, you must do your best to remain calm, or at least appear calm to them. Take a deep breath and talk to them as you would normally, no matter how unreasonable they’re being. They will react much better to someone that talks to them normally instead of yelling at them. Speak in a soft voice to ensure that the situation does not escalate because if you get angry at them, they will likely just yell back.

Explain Conflict and Emotions in a Way They’ll Understand

Since conflict resolution is a newer concept to toddlers, you will have to talk to them and help them in a way that they can understand. Discuss emotions with them and use related facial expressions to help them learn from these situations. Then, encourage them to share their emotions. Don’t pick sides, but instead listen to each child’s explanation and do your best to make sure all the kids that are involved feel understood.

Encourage Kind Words, Such as ‘Please’

‘Please’ is a great word to teach toddlers to help them learn to better resolve their conflicts. Repeatedly remind them to use ‘please’ instead of just taking a toy from someone else. If they become familiar with ways to nicely ask for things, then this could also help them avoid conflicts.

Help Generate Ideas on How to Solve the Problem

Instead of taking over the situation and telling them exactly how to solve it, you should allow them to come up with some ideas themselves. Ask them how they think the issue should be solved and help them work through it. Don’t immediately take their attention away from the object that started the argument because it can be part of a valuable learning experience for them. Teaching toddlers to solve conflicts on their own can help them to develop critical thinking and problem-solving skills.

Redirect to a New Activity

If you have tried all other methods to resolve the conflict and they are still arguing, an easy way to fix it is to redirect their attention. Play with a new toy instead to show them how fun the other objects can be. If they can be distracted and redirected to a different object, then the fight will likely be forgotten. However, don’t use this method every time something goes wrong without at least trying to teach them the basics of conflict resolution first.

Conclusion

While it may be tempting to yell or get frustrated with toddlers that don’t get along, it is not the best method to improve their skills. Always take advantage of learning experiences with young kids and do what you can to prevent these issues from happening again in the future.

Parents and teachers try to give children the most advantages possible when it comes to education. Something they may not consider is that children learn a lot simply through playing, whether it’s solitary play or playing with other children. This doesn’t mean that parents and teachers need to structure playtime, come up with elaborate activities or provide fancy toys for children to benefit from play. Children naturally build their communication skills, cognitive development, and social abilities through play. 

Play builds communication skills

Learning through play helps children develop language, communication, and listening skills. Children talk, learn new words, and hone their communication abilities as they play. Playing also allows children to create and explore their own stories, helping them develop cohesive story-telling skills. 

Even if children are playing alone, they often talk to themselves and use sound effects that help them develop language skills. When children play together they learn how to listen and talk to each other so that they can understand each other. Children can even use play to show their likes and dislikes, and convey messages in other ways. For example, children may opt to play only with toys of their favorite color, or show an interest in animals by playing with plush animals or figurines. 

Play assists cognitive development

Play helps children develop problem-solving skills, reduces stress, improve their motor skills, build their independence, and foster their creativity. Playing with simple toys such as building blocks, felt shapes, and figurines can all help children develop these abilities. 

As children get older, supplying them with more age-appropriate toys can help further advance this development. For example, younger children need toys they can’t break or swallow, whereas slightly older children can play with Legos to further enhance their cognitive skills. Outdoor play is especially helpful as it keeps kids active and allows them to reap the benefits of being in nature. A mix of indoor and outdoor play helps children understand how and when to play with toys, when to play quietly, and when to exert their energy.

Play helps build social skills

Playing with other children not only builds communication skills, but it also improves social ability. Playing with others helps children learn to share, the consequences of bad behavior, and how to get along with others. Play is so important for normal emotional development, assisting with language skills, and learning how to bond and interact appropriately with others. Children should be socialized from an early age so that by the time they enter school they already know how to work well with others and can be successful in a group learning environment. 

Playing is such an important and often underrated part of child development. Free play can improve communication skills, cognitive development, and social ability. Parents and teachers can allow children to reap the benefits of play by providing them with age-appropriate toys, opportunities to play alone and with other children, and time to play both indoors and outdoors. Play can also be a wonderful bonding experience for children and their parents. 

Most people have very few memories from early childhood. The memories that we do have from an early age are often not memories at all but formed from photos we have seen or stories others have told us. “Childhood amnesia,” or the phenomenon that humans retain very few memories before the approximate age of seven, is something that scientists and psychological still cannot fully explain. 

A common belief is that babies and young children do not have the brain capacity to create and store memories. This doesn’t make sense, though, when we take into consideration how much learning is done in the early years. Babies learn to walk, talk, and navigate the world, which requires creating and storing memories.

The hippocampus 

However, different parts of the brain are associated with creating and storing memories, and development of those parts of the brain strengthens the ability to remember. The hippocampus is believed to be the part of the brain responsible for memory storage, and does not completely form until age seven or later. 

This doesn’t mean that we don’t have any memories before the age of seven though, as it is believed that our brains start changing the way we store memories around the age of three and a half, so true memories before this age are unlikely. Teenagers have more childhood memories than adults, suggesting that the inability to remember early childhood has more to do with memory storage than memory creation. 

The connection between language and memory

One factor that plays into whether or not we remember something from early childhood is language. Children learn spoken language between ages one and six and retain this information for the rest of their lives, which is strange when compared to the “childhood amnesia” period that occurs at the same time. Studies show that toddlers over two years old who could speak about an event were able to remember the event up to five years after it occurred, but toddlers under the age of two who could not speak about the event remembered far less or nothing at all. This suggests a strong correlation between language and memory retention, and that memories formed without being verbalized are significantly less likely to be remembered. 

“False” memories

Another way that language affects memories is that, as mentioned previously, is that early childhood memories are often not memories at all, but instead are formed by accounts of events that others have told us. When adults tell stories to children or read to them, children learn narrative skills, such as what parts of a story are important and how to structure story-telling in a way people understand. 

Cultural influence 

What we remember is often culturally influenced as well. This is due to a variety of reasons, including emotional attachments to a memory and how often the memory is discussed or reinforced. Different cultures emphasize different things, and so memories of certain events will be stronger for a child of one culture than another. For example, an American child might remember receiving an award at school at an early age, whereas a Chinese child might better remember a class activity at school, due to the cultural values emphasizing individual versus group efforts and achievements.  

“Childhood amnesia” is still not fully understood, but researchers are still conducting studies and making progress in learning about this phenomenon. Advances in neuroscience and technology also help us learn more about what causes this gap in memory at an early age. As we learn more, it is important to remember that although we may not remember events from early childhood, they still have an effect on our brains and behaviors as adults. Early childhood, despite the lack of memories, is still a powerful time in forming who we become as adults.