Help! Should I Tell My New School I’m Gay


Starting at a new school can be a challenging and often nerve-wracking experience. You might have various concerns ranging from making new friends to keeping up with the curriculum. For LGBTQ+ youth, an additional concern may be whether or not to come out about their sexual orientation. Deciding to share this aspect of your life with others, especially during such a transitional period, can be daunting. In this article, we will explore some factors that might help you make an informed decision about whether or not to come out as gay in your new school.

Evaluate the School Environment

Before making any decisions, take some time to assess the overall environment of your new school. This might include:

1. The school’s policies on diversity and inclusivity.

2. Resources available for LGBTQ+ students.

3. The attitude of the staff and administration towards LGBTQ+ issues.

4. Instances of bullying and harassment in the school.

5. Presence of a Gay-Straight Alliance (GSA) or similar supportive group.

The more information you have, the better positioned you’ll be to make a decision that suits your unique situation.

Consider Your Comfort Level

In addition to understanding the environment, assess your personal comfort level in sharing this part of your identity with your peers and teachers:

1. Are you comfortable discussing your sexual orientation with others?

2. Have you come out to friends and family before? If so, how were these experiences?

3. What are your biggest fears and concerns about revealing this information?

4. What benefits do you hope to gain from coming out?

If you feel that sharing your sexual orientation will positively impact your well-being and self-confidence, it may be worth considering.

Weigh Pros and Cons

Consider both the potential positive outcomes and potential risks involved in coming out in your new school:


– Authentic relationships: Coming out can help foster deeper connections with peers and create new friendships.

– Empowerment: Being open about your sexual orientation may be liberating and help you develop a stronger sense of self.

– Support: Coming out could encourage others to come forward and share their experiences.


– Bullying/Discrimination: Unfortunately, some individuals may respond negatively, leading to unwanted situations.

– Pressure/Stress: Coming out might lead to additional stress due to addressing difficult conversations or judgments from others.

– Family Reaction: In some cases, word of your coming out may travel back to unsupportive family members.
Speak with Trusted Adults

It can be helpful to talk to a trusted adult, such as a family member, teacher, or school counselor. They can offer valuable insights, guidance, and support during this period. Be sure to choose someone who will respect your privacy and support your decision.

Take Your Time

There is no right or wrong answer when deciding if you should come out as gay in your new school. Remember that coming out is a deeply personal decision, and you need to prioritize your comfort and safety. It’s okay to take your time in making this decision, and it’s entirely up to you when and how you come out.


Starting a new school while grappling with the idea of coming out as gay can be challenging. It’s essential to evaluate the school environment and your own comfort level before making any decisions. Take the time you need to consider pros and cons and talk with trusted adults who can offer guidance. Ultimately, the choice should always be yours – on your terms and in your time.