Tag: racism and social injustice

In this 2-part series, we are discussing how to discuss racism and social justice with your children. In Part 1, we discussed how to prep for and have the conversation. In Part 2, I will discuss specific strategies that you can use to discuss racism and social justice with your children. Below I have listed some age-based suggestions for shaping your discussion.

Younger Children (4-9)

When talking to children about topics such as race and social justice, make sure that the language that you use is simple and easily digestible. Don’t fall into the trap of saying “We don’t see color.” That’s too vague, and just an excuse to avoid an uncomfortable conversation. All parents should tell their children that sometimes people are mistreated because of the color of their skin and that this type of behavior is wrong. They should be taught to never engage in this kind of activity.

Children should be taught that they should not be bystanders to bullying and racism and that if they observe it, they should tell an adult. Encourage young children, and all children for that matter, to be empathetic to people of all racial and ethnic backgrounds. You must be a role model for them by practicing what you preach and having a diverse group of friends.

If you are still struggling, there are several children’s books that cover themes such as anti-Racism, anti-Semitism, and things like the Nazi movement. You can read these books with your kids and then have a discussion afterward. I have listed several below.

Come With Me by Holly M. McGhee; Illustrated by Pascal Lamaitre (ages 4 and up)

The Whispering Town by Jennifer Elvgren; Illustrated by Fabio Santomauro (ages 5-8)

The Youngest Marcher by Cynthia Levinson; Illustrated Vanessa Brantley Newton (ages 5-9)

Older Children (10-18)

With older children, you can have in-depth conversations about the KKK, white supremacy, homophobia, and anti-Zionism. While discussing these issues with them, bear in mind that although they may understand most of what they are exposed to, they may not understand the historical themes at play.

If older children feel helpless after your talk, there’s an opportunity to help them understand how to be active citizens, and become the change that they want to see in the world. They can join a social justice organization at school or even start their own. They can engage with activists and policymakers to influence legislation. The possibilities are endless.

If you need additional help, there are several young adult books that cover themes such as anti-racism, anti-Semitism and other anti-discrimination. You can give them a week to read the book at their own pace, and then schedule a time to have a book club style discussion with them. I have listed several options below.

Stella By Starlight by Sharon Draper (ages 10-13)

March Trilogy by John Lewis, Andrew Aydin and Nate Powell (ages 10 and up)

We Will Not Be Silent by Russell Freedman (ages 10-14)

Other Considerations

One of the primary problems that white parents face when it comes to talking about racism and intolerance to their children is the psychological impact of such teaching.  With the knowledge of racism and the role played by people who look like them in perpetuating it, your kids could experience feelings of guilt and shame, especially if they have a diverse group of friends.

Since these are undesirable emotions, it is far easier for parents to avoid teaching their kids about racism and social justice, instead of dealing with the feelings that accompany a topic that will always be difficult to discuss. The key is to help your children fully understand racism and its societal implications and to promote feelings of allied relations as white, and minority groups fight racism hand in hand. This will offset the feelings of guilt and shame that accompany the realization of the fact that racism continues to exist.

Conclusion

Events like those that took place in Charlottesville are not isolated, and the conversation should not be either. Crucial conversations about race and social justice are bound to be awkward, but nonetheless, they must be had. We can’t pretend that racism, violence, or our country’s history don’t exist.

The goal of parents must be to help their children become respectful of other races, cultures, and people that they’ll interact with during their lifetimes. This can be a daunting task for parents, given that the world is infinitely more complex and diverse than the community that their kids inhabit. All we can do is prepare our children for the present and the future, and hope that our efforts are enough. If we all work together, we can shape the future into an era of inclusion and acceptance. And it starts with what we teach our children now. In the immortal words of George Santayana, “Those who do not learn from history are doomed to repeat it.”

Click here to access both parts of the series.

 

Like other Americans, I was disheartened and moved to tears on August 12, 2017 after awaking to images of hate groups carrying torches in Charlottesville, Virginia as a part of a “Unite the Right” rally, which was comprised of white nationalists and other right-wing groups. They were gathered in Charlottesville, Virginia to protest the city’s plan to remove symbols and statues linked to its Confederate past.

As the day waged on, the protesters clashed with counter-protestors and 32-year-old Heather Heyer was killed, and 19 others were injured, when a car deliberately crashed into a group of peaceful counter-protestors.

Since that day in August, all of America has been dealing with the trauma of that violent weekend in Charlottesville, Virginia. We know that these events left adults dazed and perplexed — so imagine how our children feel. It’s moments like those that children need their parents to have a crucial conversation with them about an uncomfortable topic: racial tension and violence in America.

As an African American man and father of a nine-month-old boy, I was relieved to know that I didn’t have to facilitate this crucial conversation with him just yet, but I know that one day I will. Research shows that kids as young as two-years old are keenly aware of racial injustice, so that day is quickly approaching for me.

What about parents with school-aged children, though? They don’t have the luxury of putting these types of discussions off. How do they explain to their children that we live in an imperfect world, where tragedies like this happen quite frequently? How do they protect their children’s innocence and sense of safety while empowering them to stay safe?

Though I’m new to parenting, I’m not new to working with children. At this point, I realized that my background in child development and PreK-12 education was needed. I decided to pen a 2-part series that guides parents through the steps of helping their children to process traumatic events that involve the themes of race and social justice. In Part 1, I will discuss how to prep for and have the conservation.

Prepping for the Conversation

Before you talk to your kids about traumatic events involving race and social justice, make sure that you have conversations with people of different races and perspectives to gain a fuller understanding of the issue. By doing this, you will gain greater insight into the big picture of it all, and as a result, frame the discussion appropriately. There is no way that you can educate your children about something that you don’t fully understand yourself. Trust me, your kids will have plenty of questions, and they are expecting you to provide the answers.

If your own circle of friends includes people who are like you, look online for resources. Read a few articles from a different perspective or visit the Twitter feeds of people who represent a different background than you and see what things they share.

If you are initiating the conversation in response to a situation that your child may have faced directly, you need to be prepared. Make sure that you are ready to share resources that they can use for support when they are in a crisis. This includes providing them with strategies that they can use to navigate their environment safely. This is an especially poignant point for parents of color.

Having the Conversation

Make sure that you initiate the conversation in an environment that is free from distractions. When having crucial conversations about controversial topics with kids, you want to start off by finding out what they already know. A simple question such as, “What have you heard about what happened?” should suffice. Based on what they say, you can correct any misinformation, and supplement what they already know with additional details.

Help them activate their higher-order thinking skills by asking them questions like, “Do you have any idea why this occurred?” and “What are your thoughts on the matter?” Don’t forget to allow them to ask their own questions, as they are sure to have plenty. Allow them to express their thoughts openly and validate their feelings. It’s also acceptable to tell them how you feel and what your reaction is to an event or issue. However, when doing so, remain calm. Children are less likely to overact if you convey a mood of tranquility and security.

Well, that’s it for Part 1. In Part 2, I will discuss specific strategies that you can use to discuss racism and social justice with your children.

Click here to access both parts of the series.