Tag: teach

As parents, we start building our kids’ confidence from the day they’re born. This is an extremely important task, because confident children grow up to be happy and successful adults.

Instilling confidence in kids is all about demonstrating that they are valued, loved, and accepted, as well as providing your child with opportunities to feel capable and competent.

When it comes to raising confident boys, it’s also important to allow your son to be who he is, even if that means he doesn’t fit society’s perception of a “manly” male.

Below, we’ll share four simple tips to help you raise a confident boy.

Teach Him to Express and Manage Emotions

The societal stereotype that men shouldn’t be sensitive or “boys don’t cry” is actually harmful to young boys.

When boys are taught to bury their emotions, or are scolded when they do express these emotions, they begin to think that their feelings don’t matter. And if their feelings aren’t valued, it seems logical to believe that they aren’t valued either.

Teach your son that all emotions, even negative ones, are okay to feel. Listen to his feelings and help him process them in a healthy way.

Encourage His Interests

Feeling accepted is vital to a child’s confidence, so encourage your son’s interests, whatever they may be.

If you dreamed of your son becoming an NBA All-Star, and he loves chess instead, don’t express disappointment. Be supportive and encouraging, and go to your son’s chess matches with the same enthusiasm you would have expressed for his basketball games.

Your son will feel loved and accepted, which will shape him into a confident and happy individual.

Demonstrate Unconditional Love

It’s inevitable: sometimes our kids make mistakes and bad choices. When your son does this, be sure that you take the opportunity to demonstrate unconditional love.

Make it clear that while you dislike his choices, you will never dislike him. Separate your child’s negative actions from who he is as a person, and direct all criticism at his choices rather than at his identity. For example, say, “I’m disappointed that you didn’t study for your test,” instead of, “Why are you so lazy?”

Kids believe the messages that they hear about themselves, so be sure that your son knows he is special, valued, and loved, regardless of the mistakes he makes.

Be Physically Affectionate

Kids need physical affection from their parents in order to feel the love and sense of belonging that builds confidence.

Unfortunately, young boys sometimes don’t get enough physical affection, especially from their fathers. Even if it feels strange to you at first, try to hug your son every day. Put your arm around him, tousle his hair, and tell him you love him. These small gestures are far more powerful than you realize.

Conclusion

To raise a confident boy, don’t fall into societal norms like withholding affection or discouraging him from showing emotion.

Demonstrate clearly that he is a loved and valued individual, and he will one day grow into a confident young man.

 

 

Goal-setting is a highly useful life skill that builds values such as motivation, persistence, determination, and confidence.

But setting goals—and especially sticking with them—isn’t an easy task, even for adults. So how can you help your child set and achieve goals?

Let Your Child Choose

First, it’s important to let your child choose his own goal. If the goal is something that you want your child to achieve, he’s less likely to have the motivation needed to see it through. And even if he does reach the goal, it won’t be nearly as meaningful.

Offer Guidance

Of course, once your child comes up with his idea, he may need a little help transforming it into a solid goal.

You can help your child create a SMART goal. A SMART goal must be:

• Specific (Know what he wants to achieve, why he wants to achieve it, and how he will achieve it.)
• Measurable (How will you know when the goal has been accomplished?)
• Achievable (Make sure the goal is challenging, yet still realistic.)
• Results-Focused (The goal should focus on a desired outcome.)
• Time-Bound (Link the goal to a realistic timeframe to help motivate your child.)

Break the Goal into Manageable Steps

Harvard psychologist Amy Cuddy explains that most people fail to reach their goals because they’re too “big” and “distant.”

She suggests breaking goals into incremental steps, providing the example of a couch potato who dreams of running marathons.

At first, 26.2 miles will seem like an insurmountable task, one that’s likely to result in failure and giving up. Instead, it would be beneficial to set mini goals to run two miles, then five miles, then eventually seven miles, and so on.

Your child can use the same process. If, for example, his goal is to make the Honor Roll, he may want to work toward earning an “A” in one class at a time.

This gives your child opportunities to celebrate success and build confidence along the way, which will increase his motivation and his chances of success.

Plan for Obstacles

Dr. Gabriele Oettingen and Dr. Peter Gollwitzer developed a goal-setting method called WOOP (Wish, Outcome, Obstacle, Plan).

The latter half of this acronym requires your child to brainstorm obstacles that may prevent him from reaching his goal, such as getting distracted by his phone while studying.

Next, your child must come up with an action-plan for overcoming this obstacle. For example, your child may decide, “If/when my phone distracts me from studying, I’ll give it to mom until I’m done.”

By using the WOOP method, your child will be prepared to deal with potential obstacles when they arise, which will make him more likely to stick with his goal despite these challenges.

Conclusion

Sticking with goals isn’t easy, but you can teach your child to achieve his dreams by letting him choose a meaningful goal, providing a bit of guidance, breaking the goal into manageable steps, and planning for potential obstacles.

 

The key to helping kids understand scary events is first to recognize that is often impossible to understand. Even as adults, we struggle to wrap our minds around the reasons for natural disasters, mass shootings, or other devastating events. As parents, we have the challenging role of trying to help our children process these types of events.

Take Care of Yourself First

Your children will feed off your emotional energy. If they sense your anxiety, they will grow anxious. Therefore, you must take care of yourself first. I am not suggesting you do not respond to tragedies; instead, you find time privately to grieve and process before you attempt to explain things to your children. If mommy and daddy can calmly and reassuringly discuss the event, the kids will be much less scared.

Discuss Only What is Necessary

How much you tell your children about the event is dependent on their ages and their maturity; it will vary from one child to the next. However, the general idea is to discuss only what is necessary. Give them the information they need to understand the basics of what has happened. Do not provide them with all the specifics coming from the news (or allow them to see images) that may cause them to grow more fearful.

Let Them Express Their Feelings

Parents should also let their children express their feelings and fears openly. Try to have an open dialogue where your children feel safe talking about the event with you and asking questions. If your children have fears, do not dismiss them. Instead, nurture them and offer reassurance.

Talk About the Good

Find ways to point out the good when talking about scary events. For instance, Fred Rogers famously told his television audience, “When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say to me, ‘Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping.’”

Offer Stability

One of the best things a parent can do to help their children cope with a scary event is to offer stability. While it may be difficult, you should try your hardest to keep your routine. Routines and consistency help children feel safe.

Turn Off the TV

Parents can model healthy behaviors by turning off the television. Rather than allowing yourself to become consumed by all the images and commentary of the tragedy, you are showing your children it is unhealthy for you. Explain that you need to know what is happening in the world, but you do not need it to be on 24/7.

Unfortunately, there is no real way to avoid tragic events. As parents, it is our job to protect our children. This protection means shielding them from harm and assuaging their fears. Some families find it is helpful to devise a “Family Safety Plan” for crisis situations, and that these plans help their children process and face fears relating to events they hear about in the news. Consider developing a family action plan with your loved ones today.

 

All parents know napping is a necessity where their children are babies, but did you realize that continued napping helps kids learn? While some children begin to drop their naps around age three, those children who continue napping through the preschool years tend to perform better. As you will see in this article, studies show that preschoolers benefit from regular napping.

More Positive Attitudes

Often, one of the first signs that a child is tired is the change in his/her attitude. Cranky children are usually tired children. Plus, when children are sleepy, they struggle. Teachers will attest that these children struggle with focusing and grasping new information. However, children with positive attitudes are much more willing to try new things and learn new skills.

Increase the Ability to Deal with Stress

Regular napping is also a way to help children deal with stress. In a sleep study by the University of Colorado at Boulder, scientists found that the cortisol awakening response is triggered by napping. As Perri Klass, M.D. explains, “They showed that children produce this response after short naps in the morning and afternoon, though not in the evening, and it may be adaptive in helping children respond to the stresses of the day.”

Higher Memory Retention

Multiple studies have reported that regular napping leads to higher memory retention. One study by the University of Arizona found preschoolers who regularly napped had more achievements in language learning. For example, those who napped learned new words and understood their meanings. Also, the University of Massachusetts Amherst studied the effects of napping on preschoolers by having children play the game Memory. They found “skipping the nap led to a 10% drop in the children’s accuracy in the memory-based game.”

Better Cognitive Performance

Studies on adults have found that sleep is essential to improve cognitive performance, and the same is true for children. It is when we sleep that our brains process memories. Also, those who do not get enough sleep struggle with other cognitive functions. As the Division of Sleep Medicine at Harvard Medical School explains, “Concentration, working memory, mathematical capacity, and logical reasoning are all aspects of cognitive function compromised by sleep deprivation.”

While it is clear that regular napping helps kids learn, it may be challenging to get your child to continue to nap after he/she has given up naptime. What is most important is the total amount of sleep your child is getting within 24 hours; therefore, if your preschooler is sleeping 10 – 12 hours at night, you should not worry.